What’s The Right Amount Of Vulnerability In Online Storytelling?
Updated July 2026
Summary: Many experts fear that revealing mistakes, challenges, or human moments will make them seem less competent. Paradoxically, audiences connect deeper with leaders who model the process of overcoming real problems. This article looks at the vulnerability vs. credibility paradox coaches, authors, founders, and subject matters confront in their online storytelling with tips for knowing how much is too much to share.
The Paradox Of Vulnerability in Online Storytelling
Last week, I was listening to an episode of Mark Manson’s The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fck Podcast, and got an unexpected masterclass in vulnerable storytelling.
Manson has made a career out of teaching people how to care less about others’ opinions, but even after more than a decade of dedication to this subtle art, he’s not 100% immune.
In the episode, he talks about a zinger of a comment made by someone he respects, but doesn’t necessarily agree with — nonetheless, the remark continues to gnaw at his psyche.
Yes — even the guy who preaches emotional detachment gets stung by criticism.
It’s a raw, human moment that reminds us: even the experts struggle.
It perfectly illustrates the paradox of vulnerability in online storytelling, especially for coach, authors, and subject matter experts.
We often shy away from sharing the downs of our journey, fearing it undermines our credibility, especially if the low moment falls within our wheelhouse of expertise.
Imposter syndrome knocks with a gut punch of a question, “If I still struggle with this, why should anyone listen to me?”
We may not consciously agree, but we are subconsciously conditioned to believe we must project an image of flawlessness as a requirement for people to see us as competent and trustworthy. We worry opening up about struggle makes us seem less "expert," less capable.
Paradoxically, it’s the opposite that makes us worth listening to.
Think about it this way, would you seek help from someone who has never experienced a similar problem?
When we see our struggles mirrored in someone who puts in the effort to overcome the problem, it reassures us that we can get tripped up and still succeed overall.
The real masterclass is in what Manson leaves out.
He doesn’t tell us who said the comment.
He doesn’t tell us what the comment was.
He doesn’t tell us when and where the comment was made.
It’s a misconception that vulnerable storytelling needs to be a tell all.
Vulnerable stories aren't about recounting the details of the "bad" thing that happened, but rather using that moment as context for the real story:
How you reacted
What you learned
How you’re moving forward (imperfect action counts!)
Mason doesn’t dive into the messy details of the situation because he doesn’t have to to get emotional buy-in.
Being bothered about what someone else thinks is relatable and emotionally charged enough to resonate.
He uses it as a teachable moment, sharing his plan to address the issue.
By owning the situation, he doesn’t diminish his expertise; he amplifies it.
Trust is built by seeing people do the work successfully that we are trying to do ourselves.
And vulnerability is a huge piece of that puzzle.
What story do you avoid sharing? It’s likely the one that will resonate most.
This article originally appeared in the StoryCraft newsletter, two-minute reads to make your message more meaningful. If you have ever wondered why people read your free stuff but never buy, questioned if social media is worth your time, or wondered how to tell a story so people understand the value of what you offer, we get into it with tactical advice. Sign up here.
Cyndi Zaweski, Owner of StoryCraft
Cyndi Zaweski is journalist and the owner of StoryCraft. She writes primarily about how narrative influences behavior, exploring how storytelling, belief, and perspective drive action through the lenses of marketing, philosophy, history, technology, spirituality, and beyond. Her brand story clients have been featured on CBC, iHeartRadio, The Minimalist Podcast, and more.
FAQs: Vulnerability In Online Storytelling
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Paradoxically, no. Trying to project complete flawlessness creates distance rather than trust. Your audience doesn't expect you to never face problems; they look to you to see how to handle those problems when they happen. Showing how you navigate a setback or struggle actually reinforces your competence and makes your advice far more credible.
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Not at all. Effective vulnerability is never a tell-all. You don't need to name names, reveal private specifics, or expose messy details to get emotional buy-in. You only need to share enough context to highlight the underlying emotion, then shift the focus to how you reacted, what you learned, and how you moved forward.
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Vulnerability uses a personal moment to serve the reader with a broader lesson or insight. Oversharing, on the other hand, happens when you use your audience to process unresolved emotions in real time without offering a constructive takeaway. If the story serves your reader's growth, it's the right amount; if it shares salacious details for a wow factor, it's almost over oversharing.
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Yes, as long as you are actively taking steps to address it. Audiences deeply respect seeing leaders "do the work" in real time. You don't need a perfectly tied ribbon or a flawless resolution—imperfect action counts. Sharing how you are currently navigating a challenge models resilience.
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Look at the stories or moments you naturally hesitate to share out of fear that they make you seem "less expert." Often, the exact struggle you worry might undermine your credibility is the one that will resonate most deeply with your audience, because it mirrors their own doubts and insecurities.
